Friday, September 19, 2008

Men cant live with them, can't live without them

So as promised, i will divulge the gritty details of the goings on of Mr. Pinky and I.
We have been together since October of 2002. We were 17 when we started dating. (Awww, HS sweethearts!!! Mush). He moved in with my parents and I our Senior year of HS because of a bad situation with his dad. After we graduated, We purchased a house together (it's in his name and his mom's name for credit reasons). Every thing seemed peachy keen. He proposed to me in March of 2006 ( I think! Its been so long ago that i have forgotten the year!! Def March though!)

Fast forward to 2007. I had set a wedding date and even began shopping for dresses and the like. He kept putting off important things like I don't know... EVERYTHING!!! So early this year a good friend of ours started dating a girl who owns a flower shop. I made the comment " Its a good thing that Tony's dating Kayla, we can get a good deal on wedding flowers!" He responded with "I'm not so sure that I want to get married."

Enter downward spiral of my life.

This was late May early June 2008. Nothing else came up over the next few days about the conversation. So a week or so later I brought up that it really bothered me what he said. We began to talk and it came out that he was no longer happy in the relationship and he has been having these feelings for a while and that's why he was putting wedding plans off. He told me that he was no longer attracted to me because of my weight and my attitude (I can be a T total BITCH!! I admit it!) So, we talk for a while and decided that maybe we should see other people.

So, about a week or so he goes to guard duty (He's in the National Guard) and a guy there introduces him to a girl named Cortney. Come to find out she is preggers (not by him). They date for a while (3-4 weeks.) during this time I have turned to Internet dating and have gone on one actual date and it was horrendous.

He leaves for Iowa for a month for the Guard. Things seem to be getting better Fast foreword to end of said month. I have not gone on any dates since the aforementioned one. He stopped talking to Cortney but has started talking to Kristen. She is 4 years younger than him and can't drive. (We own 2 car lots so our lives revolve around driving!!!)

I have begun talking to a guy named Jack that I have met through a dating website I never imagined that I would do this but whatever). So Mr. Pinky returns home on a Friday everything seems great until Saturday when we get into an argument. So I said screw it. I had made plans to meet Jack the next weekend but I call him and bump it up to Sunday. So to make me mad Mr. Pinky takes Kristen out Sunday as well. But, what he doesn't know is that I like this Jack Guy and don't care if he takes Kristen out.

So after less than a week of me seeing someone, Mr. Pinky decides we need to get back together. So I break it off with Jack. He breaks it off with Kristen. This is on Saturday. Wednesday, He sneaks out and has lunch with her (mind you we are supposed to be back together.) To some this may be OK but to me this is cheating. I go absolutely psycho bitch on him and tell him its either me or her and he needs to effing choose NOW. He says he is sorry and wants to be with me.

So this was about 3 weeks ago when this all went down. Last weekend he had Guard duty again (its really not as often as it seems!) Saturday night we had a huge argument about something stupid so Sunday morning when I tried to call him he didn't answer. when is voicemail picked up I decided to delete all the old messages he had (I have a weird pet peeve about leaving old messages on machines and calls on a caller ID) There were 2 from a random girl named Chasity. I called him back and went off on him and told him I knew he was cheating on me and we were through. We talked through it and... he was not cheating on me.( She is a 15 year old girl that he talked to at the the fair. He didn't know she was 15 and when he found out, he quit talking to her. ) SO when he got home, he was not in the mood to talk so we kinda just kept to ourselves. Monday morning I brought up the fact that she was calling him and he didn't tell me. I seen it as deceitful because he was not telling me. He told me that Kristen was still calling and texting as well (mid conversation she sent him a text).

Being the aggressive person I am I sent her the following email via Facebook Monday afternoon at work:

Kristen, I would like to politely ask you to stop calling/texting Brian. We are back together now and I am just respectfully asking you woman to woman to please stop. Things are going well between us and we are trying to make things work out. So please be respectful of my wishes. If the tables were turned I would do the same. Thanks Jessicia

and she replied with:

yea. i'm trying 2 let him know i want nothing more than friends from him, he texted me the other day begging me 2 have lunch w/ him. i told him i started seeing other ppl. i went 2 lunch w/him yesterday as friends and he kept attempting to do things to show pda and i kept pushing him away and that if he continued it that i wouldn't even be his friend. i dont want him like that. i dont give 2nd chances in relationships. i wish ya'll the best but i think u deserve better than someone begging other women 4 a date

She calls him as soon as she sends me the return email and tells him that I emailed her. He calls me and asks me why I e-mailed her. I responded with the question "Why did you go to lunch with Kristen Sunday? He knew he was caught (again). I told him this time I was dead serious. That he needed to think long and hard about if he wanted to be with me or not. To make a long story a little less long, we are back together.

He texted Kristen and told her that we were back together and that we were going to make it work. I emailed the 15 year old and told her to leave him alone. She called him and he told her the same thing. So now all is well. He has been nicer to me this week than he has been in the last few years. I hope that things have changed for good.

If you have read this entire thing: THANK YOU!!!! I know it was long, but in all honesty it could have been 10 times longer, but I am trying to get people to read this not scare them away!!!

Comments are greatly appreciated!!!!


Anonymous said...

oh wow
thats a rather interesting relationship there. sounds very confusing...
it makes me wonder what its going to be like for me later.

Missy said...

This is why I've been single for the past three years. Relationships drive me crazy!

Nikola said...

Yup, I've read the entire thing :D

And I must confess I had a giggle reading the message that girl left you... The writing style is so juvenile! :D

Anyway, I hope everything will work out! :)

Anonymous said...

hey! im only 14
give me a break

Paige said...

Wow. lol.
Isn't it funny how men always try to be sneaky, and end up getting caught. ?? lol.

It's so cute that they think they can hide stuff from us women. haha.

Good luck, and I hope that you two do work everything out. !!

well-intentioned heartbreaker said...

ah, yes, read it all =)

sounds like quite the whirlwind, but i really hope everything works out =) =)

~ Bobbie Crawford-McCoy ~ said...

Hi Jessicia,

I am an outsider to all of this because we don't know each other, but it really sounds to me like getting married to this guy would be the SINGLE worst mistake of your life.
Past behaviour is the best predictor of future behaviour.
Why in the world should your weight be a factor in his love for you?? Come on dude?
Marriage is in sickness & health, for richer or poorer, etc. and so on. It’s incredibly shallow of him to have lost his feelings of love/attraction for you just because you had put some weight on. It’s what is on the inside that counts!
Marriage can be really, really tough; I know from experience.
He could just as easily bail on you if you don't stay a size 12 during your marriage; if you have children with him and can’t lose the baby weight fast enough for him? And what happens if you were ever in an accident and/or were hurt and he had to take care of you and you were no longer the ‘attractive woman’ you are now??
All the sneaking behind your back and dishonesty, Girl, he is setting you up for heartbreak and a divorce before many years have passed.
You deserve 100%!! At best, he's only going to give you 60%.
This is my two cents worth, but I hope it’s an insightful caution that comes in time for you to really evaluate your future chances of a successful life together with this guy.

I wish you the best with your future & life. I truly do :)

Earnestly Yours,

16 paws said...

I debated on whether or not to weigh in on this because I have been where you are, young and in love, and people tried to tell me to date others, live life, figure out who I am before I rush into getting married, but I coudln't be told.

I listened to no one. I knew better than everyone. I would be the exception to the rule.

I am divorced now. They were right.